the daily doyle

Guest Post – Americans Attacked by Mexican Spider Monkeys (Satire from Elvin Verdad)
June 12, 2011, 10:58 pm
Filed under: General stuff

This is an article written by my friend Elvin F. Verdad. It’s SATIRE, so don’t take it too seriously. But have some fun with it. I love the way Elvin writes. -Doyle

Americans Attacked by Mexican Spider Monkeys

By Elvin F. Verdad

The spider monkeys of Playa Del Carmen, Mexico are generally a source of entertainment to the tourists of the Aventura Spa and Cove resorts. The hotel organizes groups each morning and afternoon so the guests can see them. Most guests have a good laugh and take a picture to have a pleasant memory to share with the folks back home.

Often the monkeys seem amused by the behavior of the people and seem to perform for them as they play and jump from limb to limb.

The monkeys are harmless to people, cute and silly. Usually. But it’s just not a good idea to antagonize a three foot high wild animal. That’s especially true of a wild animal with strength equal to the average prize fighter, long sharp teeth and sharp claws on both hands AND feet!

Most people might think this is common sense. But it isn’t that “common” to find a great deal of common sense in hillbillies. This week at the resort, common sense took a vacation as two guests decided to try and get a close up monkey experience. It started with Lia Goldman and Bartholomew Mayweather of Hazard, Kentucky simply attempting to take a picture of three monkeys in a tree. When they could not get a good shot, Mr. Mayweather evidently got an inspiration. He shouted “watch this!” and charged into the jungle, camera in hand shouting HEY MONKEY! MONKEY! MONKEY! And tried to climb the tree.

The spider monkeys were not amused. Mr. Mayweather was treated for head and back injuries and for a sprained ankle gained as he tripped while running full speed down the road with a monkey on his head yelling, “help, I got a monkey on my head!”  Ms. Goldman fared better. While she was attacked viciously, the monkey only basically damaged her rather large and highly sprayed hairdo.

Dr. Jesus Gonzalez, who treated the couple’s injuries, stated, “I see all kinds of injuries in my practice but I rarely see this much stupid.”

An innocent tourist was injured as well as she was laughing so hard she hyperventilated and dropped her heavy camera on her foot. Luckily though, she did get a good photo of the attack and won the resort’s “funniest photo of the day” contest. Ironically the prize was a small statue of a man with a monkey on his head.

It’s possible that alcohol was involved in the incident.


If you liked this article, check out more of Elvin’s work at


1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

This is amusing.
Why hasn’t Elvin been writing much lately?

Mary C

Comment by Mary Collins

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